An important lesson for boys:
Ice Cream heals all.
Literally.
An Example:
A boy broke up with me. I was ticked.
He asked me to hang out.
I said no.
He asked me on a date.
I said no.
He asked me to ice cream.
Done.
We got back together.
Also it’s practically impossible to eat ice cream and cry at the same time.
Don’t believe me?
Try it.
My favorite:
G’s Dairy
Double scoop-Huckleberry, Black Cherry-Waffle Cone.
It makes saving change during winter worth it.
Sometimes I don’t know how to start my blogs. I have so many unwritten stories because I can’t begin. This is one of those.
Anyone I’ve ever told this has laughed and then informed me that the Everglades are nothing like it. To all of you I say Boo. Don’t ruin my imagination with your grown up nonsense. Some people conjure a beach in their minds. Maybe you go to the mountains. This is my place. Here I can think. Cry. Exist. Unfrustrate (Unfrustrate: The act of becoming frustrated undone. ex. Now that we have talked I am unfrustrated with you.)
Items needed to create Jessica’s place of solace:
1. Bathwater
2. Green shower curtain—Any will do but green works best
3. Shower water
When I was little I would turn on the shower, stop the tub, and lay down. The hot water would start rising and the shower water would bounce and make a mist that stung my face. Pretty soon my bathroom was steamy and humid and I became an alligator in the Everglades. Somehow it helped me calm down, relax, and process my life. I wish I could say I outgrew my childish fancies but to this day I still stop the tub and become Sasha the Herbivore gator who lives on 249 Marshvale Drive Everglades, FL 91304.
Q & A Session—
1. Are you aware that the Everglades look/feel/are nothing at all like that?
a. Yes. I don’t care. Of all the many places I want to see in the world I don’t know if I’ll ever go there. I don’t want my imagination to be overruled.
2. Why an Herbivore gator?
a. Have you ever watched movies about how alligators eat? It’s always the brave/stupid baby that is eaten. The baby is to trusting, walks right up to the water, drinks in a big satisfying gulp, and next thing you know BAM. The alligator strikes. Sasha the alligator is definitely an herbivore.
3. Do you know the difference between alligators and crocodiles?
a. No. For all I know crocodiles live in the Everglades.
I do think that Sasha could make an awesome children’s book. J— my awesome roomie, we may have to postpone our desert princess book and possibly you can illustrate Sasha and her adventures.
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