The heroine.
Awesome. Hilarious. Beautiful.
But most importantly
She leaves you feeling like a happier, more content individual.
Let’s call her A.
The Antagonist.
Redhead. Nice. Hopeless romantic.
But most importantly
Head over heels, crazy and madly, hopelessly in love with A.
Let’s call him Corey.
Current Status of A and Corey.
Not speaking. Not hanging out. Will not be dating.
How do you go from acquaintances with all
The possibilities of friendship in the future to
This complete and distant separation?
Let me explain.
How to successfully and completely estrange an individual
From wanting anything to do with you:
1. Lie to family, friends, their friends, total strangers
About every single aspect of your dating story.
Example.
Did you ever kiss A?
Yes.
When in reality you did not even cuddle, hold hands, and rarely hugged.
2. Tell boys/girls interested in your loved one that
You are in fact dating and very serious and have been for a long time.
Feign shock when they have no idea and are disgusted that
He/she agreed to a date.
3. Confess your undying love before, during, and after loved one tells you he/she has no feelings for you.
4. Insist they are wrong.
Insist they have deep, passionate feelings for you.
5. Tell them you know you are meant to marry him/her.
When he/she denies wanting to even date you insist that this is destiny,
The stars aligning.
6. Nickname him/her something that reminds you
Of fairy-tale love.
Like Topanga. From Boy Meets World.
7. Create a blog about Topanga.
Post pictures that way your nickname is completely obsolete and pointless.
8. Write poetry.
Gushy love poetry.
9. Come up with an arbitrary date months in the future.
Insist he/she promised to go on a date with you on that day.
Count down the days wistfully wishing for
The day you can see your loved one again.
10. Write blog posts’ insisting him/her having no feelings for you is
Just a phase he/she needs to overcome.
You, however, will never give up.
Use phrases like
“(Butterflies)”
Or
“She’s amazing and I just can’t give up. I can’t”
Easy, simple steps.
It worked for Corey and A
So it’ll work for you!
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